Pleonastic Ephemera

9.23.2004 posted by William 11:45 link

Jon Stewart was on the O'Reilly Factor last night. I didn't watch it, but Howard Kurtz mentioned in his Media Notes column today that Wonkette (the DC version of Gawker) has a transcript. It's really worth reading the whole thing. Jon Stewart is fucking quick. Here's an excerpt: O'REILLY: You actually have an influence on this presidential election. That is scary. STEWART: If that were so, that would be quite frightening. O'REILLY: But it is. It's true. I mean, you've got stoned slackers watching your dopey show every night, OK, and they can vote. STEWART: Yeah. O'REILLY: You can't stop them. STEWART: Yeah, I just don't know how motivated they would be, these stoned slackers. O'REILLY: Yeah, it just depends if they have to go out that day. STEWART: What am I, a Cheech and Chong movie? Stoned slackers? O'REILLY: Come on, you do the research, you know the research on your program. STEWART: No, we don't. O'REILLY: Eighty-seven percent are intoxicated when they watch it. You didn't see that? STEWART: No, I didn't realize that. O'REILLY: Yeah, we have that there. STEWART: We come on right after, I believe, puppets that make crank calls... O'REILLY: Yeah. STEWART: ... so we are, I think, the appropriate follow up... O'REILLY: Yeah, and that's a great lead-in for you. STEWART: It's a wonderful show, by the way. O'REILLY: Puppets can't vote, but these dopey kids who watch you can. STEWART: They actually can -- in Florida, they can. O'REILLY: Puppets can vote in Florida. STEWART: As long as they vote Republican. O'REILLY: And they haven't committed a felony. STEWART: And they haven't committed a felony, that's exactly right. I'm really looking forward to going to the Daily Show taping tonight. After quoting the same lines, Kurtz rhetorically asks "Wonder what percentage are spaced out when they watch O'Reilly?" I can guarantee you, Mr. Kurtz, that for a number of episodes during the 2002/2003 school year, the percentage was not zero.